You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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