thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
