im gay
i know
yea but for you.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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