Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
