she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize