people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
