i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
