Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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