i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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