Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
