he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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