and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
