She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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