...so i touched it.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
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dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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