I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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