I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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