Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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