Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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