Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Why are your pants in the freezer?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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