Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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