He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
