need another drink. this is the easiest way
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
