Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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