if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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