Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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