i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
