11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
