My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
