So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
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My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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