I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
