I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
