How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
