i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
