Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
