i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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