I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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