Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
