if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
