So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize