I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize