Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
