my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize