haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
