So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I want to be your penis for a week.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
