I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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