i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
