It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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