it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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