Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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