Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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