I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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