mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
