I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I smell like Dick and happiness
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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