shes about as inviting as chlamydia
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm always down for nudity.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
