I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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