Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
