You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
