If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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