she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
