Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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