If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
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I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
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Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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