I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
