More tranny stories later!
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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