I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
