Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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