I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize